Category Archives: Positivity

B*** Don’t Kill My Vibe

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Bitch don’t kill my vibe, bitch don’t kill my vibe
I can feel your energy from two planets away
I got my drink, I got my music
I would share it but today I’m yelling
Bitch don’t kill my vibe, bitch don’t kill my vibe

~Kendrick Lamar

So here’s the all too common scenario: It’s Friday night. It’s been a long week and you and your friends are going out to this new lounge downtown that you’ve heard so much about. You put on your hottest outfit and head out on the town with your besties, excited about what drunken debauchery the night might bring.

Halfway through the night, that one friend (who everyone told you to leave at home) starts chiming in:

“Ugh… these drinks are so weak”,

“This music is giving me a headache”

“There are no attractive guys here”

“Who picked this place anyway?”

“I should have just stayed home.”

Nothing pleases her. She is having a terrible time and is intent on making sure everyone present not only knows it, but feels it as well.  Even though she’s miserable, she would rather sit around with her arms folded and complain than actually do something about it.

You and your friends try to cheer her up: You order her a shot, try to get her to dance, make silly faces at her.  Whatever you have to do to turn her into the fun-loving version of her you had invited and wished had shown up. But, despite your best efforts, the corners of her mouth refuse to budge. Now there is a palpable tension in the air, and all hope of an epic night out with the besties has turned to a pity party because of your friend Debby D. Downer, Queen of the Buzzkills.

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I used a lounge for this illustration, but I’ve encountered people like this in just about every conceivable situation; holiday gatherings, vacations, birthday parties. Just about anywhere a good time could be had, a buzz can be killed by these consistently negative people. I’m not sure what they get from complaining all the time. Maybe they like the attention, or maybe it’s some misery-loves-company type thing.  I don’t know.  All I know is I don’t like “that girl”.

I understand that things don’t always go as planned. The beach house you and your friends rented may not look anything like the website, the club you paid $20 to get into may be overcrowded, the restaurant you went to may be out of crab cakes.  I get that. But complaining doesn’t get you anything but uninvited to the next event.  Negativity is infectious and no one wants to catch it from you.

When things don’t go as planned, there are only three acceptable solutions. You can:

  A) Leave and spare everyone your bitchfest;

  B) Suggest something better for the group to do; or

  C) Just make the best of it and have fun! (My personal fav)

Notice that “sitting around bitching” isn’t one of them.

Some people may consider me to be overly optimistic, but I pride myself in the fact that I can have a good time just about anywhere.  I don’t care if the drinks are overpriced and are served in a glass the size of a thimble, if only 3 people showed up to a birthday party and my ex is one of them, or if it rains every day of my vacation.  I think a fun time can be had by all if you are flexible and have the right frame of mind.  How you, you ask?

  1. Consciously tell yourself “F*ck it!  It’s not what I expected, but I’m going to make the most of it!” 
  2. Remember that a good time is usually 80% about the people around you (unless the people around you suck.  Then skip to number 3).
  3. When embarking on a vacation or evening out, expect the unexpected.  If you prepare yourself for the idea that things may not go exactly as planned ahead of time, it’s less likely to ruin your time when the unfortunate actually happens.  (This is also very important advice when planning a wedding)
  4. Remember that those upsetting moments could easily be the ones that you laugh at and tell stories about years from now (“Hey Sally, remember when we went to Jamaica and a rat the size of a football ran off with your thong.  Hahaha!  Good times …”).
  5. Remember that no one likes a negative person.  You don’t want to be “that guy” who no one wants to invite out.  (e.g. “Don’t invite [insert your name here].  Remember when we were in Antigua last year and s/he spent the whole time complaining about it being too sunny?”)
  6. Finally, if you still aren’t having fun, FAKE IT!  Trust me.  No one will know the difference and you may actually start believing it yourself!

So what do you do when you aren’t having the best time?  How do you deal with constant complainers and negative people?

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